I'm Hooked On The Brothers

No doubt you were too, back in the day. The best part was on Friday's when you would get a Legend of Zelda cartoon instead of a Mario. If you never saw this show, you missed out on one of the greatest joys of being a kid in the late...whenever it was. Captain Lou Albano rules.

Enjoy.

To whomever it is appropriate

Happy Father's Day.

How Do You Spell Funny?

The other day I was listening to the radio, as is common practice for me. During a commercial break from Kidd Kraddick in the Morning, I heard an advertisement come on for Valero Energy Corporation. If you haven't heard it, it's running on the local Clear Channel stations. You should hear it because they've been running it a lot in the morning.













Anyway, it begins with a man and a woman ridiculing former classmates at their high school reunion. They throw out all the typical stereotypes that one would expect, the guy with long hair is now bald, ect.. They then turn their misguided bitterness onto another person, and it sounds something like this:

Man: "Who is that tall blonde over there with the nice legs?"

Woman: "I don't know, but her name tag says...Gene Woodard?"

Man: "That's funny. The only Gene Woodard I knew was...our....fullback!"

It then proceeds to tell all about how Diamond Shamrock has changed their name to Valero but still provides all the same great services, blah, blah, blah. I say blah, blah, blah because the only thing that runs through my mind is the fact that they just used transsexual humor to try and sell me on their premium petroleum products and frosty cold beverages. Does the general public need a transsexual joke to entice them to stop in for 5 gallons and a Coke and Cherry ICEE? Additionally, do transsexuals take offense to that? Or are they stopping by in droves at Valeros (or is it Valeroes?) all over the Southwestern United States?

All fair questions I think. And ones that deserve answers. Because like I always say, nothing says "We offer quality gasoline and your favorite snacks" like a well-placed sexual-themed joke.

Could it be a coincidence?

For those of you who don't already know, the Dallas Mavericks won the Western Conference Championship Saturday night. This is exciting for me as a Mavs fan and for all the other Mavs fans who have suffered with this franchises' futility for 25-plus years. Now I don't mean to say I have been a fan since I was 1 year old, but you get the idea.

Anyway, there was one thing that dawned on me last night as I was celebrating. Dirk Nowitzki and I are brothers. How else can you explain his outstanding performances over the course of the playoffs? Here. Allow me to illustrate.


Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks on the top and me, in my church league uniform on the bottom.


Dirk honed his skills against me on his many visits to my house from Germany, where he was attending boarding school. Dirk, you see, was a little rowdy as a kid and it's just what we had to do. Do you really think he got that sweet turn-around fade away jumper from some high priced coach? Anyway, congrats to my big bro on the Western Conference Championship. Good luck in the Finals, and don't forget that a shout-out would be nice you big lug!